


I want you

by CarmillaCarmine



Series: First Kiss (fix-it) Series [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angsty kissing, Episode: s03e02 The Sign of Three, First Kiss, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 08:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19169575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarmillaCarmine/pseuds/CarmillaCarmine
Summary: Sherlock left his best friend's wedding early and John ran after him.





	I want you

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Te deseo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19435090) by [randomfandoms7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomfandoms7/pseuds/randomfandoms7)



> For some time now, I've wanted to write a series of short first-kiss Johnlock fics. Let's hope this one will be the first of many :)

“Sherlock!” 

John’s voice reached his ears but he refused to turn around. He put his hands in the pockets of his coat and marched forward. 

“Sherlock stop!” John was running now, the crunch of gravel indicating that he was close. Sherlock felt a tug on the sleeve of his coat and finally stopped walking. 

“Go back, John. It’s your wedding day.” He could hear the sadness in his voice and he was too tired to hide it as he turned to face his friend. 

“Exactly. And you’re my best man, you can’t leave my wedding early.” John frowned at his own words as if he remembered something.  

“Go celebrate, have fun.” Sherlock insisted. 

“Not without you. Not without my best friend.” 

“It’s not my scene.” 

“What is your scene?” 

Sherlock shrugged. There was no explanation he could give John that would not make this conversation worse. 

“Go back, John.” 

“I’m not going back without you.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“Just tell me what’s wrong.” 

“What do you want me to say?” Sherlock’s voice was getting angry and he couldn't control it. He had been holding a tight rein on his emotions the whole evening, if not the last several months, and he was ready to let go.  

“I don’t know! That’s why I asked! I can’t read people like you do, but I can tell something’s wrong.” 

“Just go, John...”  

“No.” 

“You’re so stubborn.” 

“I wonder where I learned that.” 

Sherlock snorted a laugh and John’s smile back, melted him. 

“I didn’t expect it to hurt that much.” Sherlock massaged his sternum involuntarily and saw John following the gesture with his eyes. He swallowed and looked up at Sherlock, clearly worried. 

“It?” 

“You getting married to someone else.” He said it slowly, letting John take in the meaning behind the simple sentence. 

“Someone....” John’s eyes widened. “Oh my God....” He took a step back, still looking at Sherlock’s face, searching his expression. Sherlock knew his face was a picture of resignation and loss. “Oh my God, Sherlock... I didn’t know.” 

“It’s okay. It wouldn’t change anything if you had.” 

“It would.” 

“Don’t say that, John. You don’t mean it.” 

“Shut up, Sherlock, just shut up!” John burst out, pointing a finger at him, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“I left you for two years and I stupidly thought that we can resume as we were.” Sherlock squeezed his temples with his palms until his head hurt from the outside, but still less than from the inside. “Idiot.” He muttered. “Freak.” 

“Stop it. Sherlock, stop that!” John reached for his hands and Sherlock let him lower them. He expected John to release his hands but he was still holding them when he looked up to meet Sherlock’s gaze.  

Scorching was too meek of a word to describe how John's hands felt in his. John had touched him before, he had bandaged him after a case when they were attacked; he had touched him to wake him up several times when they had still been flatmates as well. However, the touch John was administering now, was anything but medical or necessary. It was for the sake of the touch itself.  

“John?” 

“Shhhh. Just let me...” John took one step closer, closing the distance. Their bodies were inches apart when John finally let go of his hands and placed his own on the lapels of Sherlock’s coat. He felt the absence of the heat of John’s touch but he was compensated with a new source of heat a moment later. 

John's breath was warm in the cool May air as he pulled on the lapels of Sherlock’s coat and, standing on his tiptoes, levelled their mouths. Sherlock could hardly believe what was happening but he refused to waste a single moment of the miracle in progress. He closed the distance to let their lips meet. John’s nose was cold on his cheek but his lips were warmer and oh, so soft. 

John Watson’s lips were perfect when pressed to his.  

Sherlock was greedy and he needed more, he had to have more as he might not get another chance in his life. He opened his mouth and sneaked his tongue out to encourage John’s lips to part. They did, and John’s tongue was less hesitant than Sherlock would expect, as it found his. The taste of the awful champagne didn’t affect the wonderful feeling of John’s tongue sliding along Sherlock’s.  

John’s hands moved to Sherlock’s neck and his cold touch did nothing to cool down Sherlock’s need for more contact. Sherlock placed one hand at John’s nape and the other on his back, pulling him closer until their bodies met. He had imagined holding John so many times that the moment felt like a fantasy. As if it was a vivid dream conjured by a stubborn brain in order to pump some joy into a broken heart. 

Their kiss deepened, growing more needy, more aggressive, as if they were grappling for air, taking in as much of each other as they could before the dream ended, burst like a balloon pricked with a needle. John matched Sherlock with his enthusiasm, exploring Sherlock’s mouth as if he was looking for hidden treasures.  

John Watson kissed as if his life depended on it. 

Sherlock felt as if his own life, his future, indeed depended on how this very moment ended. He wanted to sweep John up, lift him until his legs would wrap around Sherlock’s hips, and run. Run and never look back. But he couldn’t. 

Sherlock broke the kiss, pulling away but John stayed on his tiptoes, looking at him. 

“You can’t do this, John.” His voice was low, full of emotion swirling inside him. 

“I can.” 

“You shouldn’t.” 

John sighed and lowered himself to stand firmly on the ground. “I know. It’s not fair. Not fair to you.” John’s thumbs caressed Sherlock’s jaw on both sides. 

“Not fair to Mary.” Sherlock’s voice broke as he said the name that hurt leaving his throat. John’s eyes opened wide as if he just realised what he’d done. He had cheated on his wife mere hours after making his vows. 

“M...Mary.” John turned to look at the building behind him and then back at Sherlock. He licked his lower lip and Sherlock mimicked his movement, tasting John on his lips. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry...” John whispered before he took Sherlock’s lips again. His hands moved down Sherlock’s chest, then around his waist and up his back, the touch burning a trail on Sherlock’s body. Sherlock could taste salt in the slow kiss and he felt the pain in his chest as if someone gripped his heart in a tight fist and refused to let go. 

John broke the kiss and buried his face in the crook of Sherlock’s neck. John’s body trembled, he was cold. He had run outside dressed in just a shirt and now he would get sick. Sherlock wrapped his open coat around John and held him tight.  

Cool evening breezes tried to dry the wetness on his cheeks, but wouldn’t dry the wet spot on his neck where John’s face was resting. 

“I’m sorry.” John whispered again before he looked up. “I will fix this if you let me.” His voice was steady when he spoke, he was dead serious and Sherlock wished he could believe him. 

“No, John. You’re married now, you have everything you’ve always wanted.” 

“But I want you, I always have. I just thought you...that you didn’t.” John Watson was pretty damn smart but when it came to their friendship, both of them had been complete idiots.  

Sherlock took John’s face in his hands and met his gaze, needing to see John’s reaction. John’s gorgeous blue eyes shone in the moonlight as he looked up at him. 

“I wanted you from the moment I saw you, but I loved you from the moment you forgot your cane and ran with me.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
